Three years ago I decided to stop wearing bras.
Yeah, I just stopped.
Growing up, the demarcation of being a woman was having breasts. Like, BIG ONES. I figured because everyone in my family had BIG ONES that I’d have BIG ONES. And, girl, was I mislead.
For a very long time, my breasts were a great source of insecurity. They were the focus of my comparisons with other women. I thought of myself as less of a woman because I have small breasts. I never believed a lover when they said they liked them or when they said that they preferred small boobs. Nope, in my mind they were just saying that to make me feel better. It never did make me feel better because I didn’t like my boobs anyway.
When I was 21, I decided that I was going to start liking my boobs. I noticed a customer at work had small boobs like me and she didn’t wear bras. I had an epiphany! I wasn’t going to wear bras either.
So I stopped wearing bras and decided that I was going to start thinking nice things about the small lovelies on my chest.
I stumbled upon this article about the perks of going braless (get it? perks?). Besides going braless to feel better about my chest, I learned that there was a good chance I was doing my humps some good!
It took me a long time to accept them. For a while, I liked them when I looked at them in the mirror, but the minute I could compare them to anyone else’s, I did and I would not feel happy about them.
Now, things didn’t just magically get better after going braless. For a while, I was comparing how my braless boobs looked to chests that were wearing bras. And I was like “Oh, poor me. My boobs are so small. Waaah waah.” But then one day I put on an old bra just see how it looked and WAAA POW! My boobs looked BIG! And then I realized something I already knew – bras are an illusion. DUH. All this braless time up to this point I was down in the dumps comparing my boobs TO PEOPLE WHO WERE WEARING BRAS. THIS MAKES NO SENSE, SELF. And this was the tipping point for me – I realized that I didn’t really know what other women’s breasts looked like. I only knew what the media was showing me in porn and Playboy and magazines. THIS WAS MONUMENTAL FOR ME. How could I compare myself to other women when one – they are all wearing push-up bras or regular bras, two – I didn’t know what anyone’s boobs actually looked like, and three – I didn’t wear bras to even know what I looked like in a bra.
So then I had to actively decide to stop comparing myself to others. Which was hard, but a very possible thing to do.
Life with my chest got ONE MILLION PERCENT better after this.
I still have moments where I find myself thinking negative things, but they are few and far between. When these times happen, I have to actively tell myself to be kind to myself. It works. And then I pat myself on the shoulder for being nice to me.
EVERYONE LIKES LISTS, SO HERE’S A LIST ABOUT GOING BRALESS
- Do it for you. Don’t do it for anyone else.
- Do it because it feels good and right. Don’t do it if it doesn’t feel right for you.
- Sometimes people will notice, especially when you’re cold. In time this will not bother you. Guys’ nipples poke through their shirts all the time and no one cares.
- Sometimes undershirts are nice (like when you were a little girl, before you needed to wear bras). They’re nice when a shirt is a little see through and you’re not ready to show the world the color of your nipples, too.
- You might notice how lop-sided you are. That’s ok. Nearly all women are.
- Here’s an article about what a woman learned when she went braless for a week.